The tiniest of blankets for the tiniest of babies. In our continued efforts to provide support and resources to the families affected by pregnancy loss, we are putting together care packages - including wraps for the smallest of the small.  
Some families will use these wraps for their babies' remains, while others might choose to add them as keepsakes to memorial boxes or books. The difficult reality for some mothers who endure first trimester loss is that they pass fetal remains at home - or even while at work or doing errands - and they are often unsure what to do. While everyone must make personal decisions, we have heard from so many who say things such as:
I wish I would have known.
I didn't even have a baby blanket picked out yet.
I didn't know what to do.
For these mothers, the flannel wraps can provide a comforting way to collect the remains before making arrangements with the funeral home. These flannel wraps have a moisture resistant liner and ribbon ties. The wraps are also small enough to tuck inside a baby book or scrapbook if parents just want to use them as reminders of their littlest angels.
We'll keep you posted with more pictures and updates of the care packages as we get ready to deliver them to care providers. A heartfelt thanks to volunteers like Patty who are helping us get all of this ready - so far 140+ of these small wraps - and 50+ for second trimester losses. 

We can't go back and undo the loss. As much as we pray, beg, and plead, we can't change the road we traveled when we heard those words - "There is no heartbeat". But we can make a difference for all of the families who we know will unfortunately be the 1 in 4 who endure the loss of a child in pregnancy - and Wings of Hope needs your help!
Unfortunately, we too often hear of stories from moms and dads who said they wish they would have known... The information often comes too late, if at all, for what to expect and how to do things such as collect the remains of your child, arrange for the remains to go to the mortuary if chosen, collect keepsake information of your child, and more.
We are in the preliminary stages of putting together care packages for these families, hopefully to be distributed by medical staff, midwives, and caregivers. Examples of items we are considering adding to these packages include:

• A hat for over the toilet - used to help collect remains especially during early miscarriages
• Sanitary pads - moms who are expecting a child are not expecting to need these items for many more months
• Chux pads for moms who prefer to lie down during the miscarriage process and deliver while lying down
• A container for remains - families who want to keep the remains after delivering at home (before 20 weeks) need a moisture-proof container for transport to the mortuary
• Rubber gloves to assist in the process and collect remains
• A soft cloth for swaddling the remains
• Items for collecting keepsake information, including a tape measure and camera
• A detailed list of things such as how to contact Mankato Mortuary for families who want to participate in the common burial for losses before 20 weeks
• A list of books and resources for families

What in this list would have helped you?
Every situation is different, and not all moms will have remains, want to consider this option, or feel comfortable doing things such as take measurements. What we want to do is let moms know that they can if they want to take these steps. We don't want to keep hearing stories of I wish I would have known... 
Please help us by sharing what you wish you would have known... what resources you wish were available in a do-over.
We can't turn back the clocks on our own losses, but we can help make sure that the next mom who endures this loss has the tools and resources she needs.
Comment here on our blog, on Facebook, or email us at wingsofhopemankato@gmail.com

As our committee continues to plan for the Evening of Remembrance on May 11th at 6:00 pm and meet with the pastor who will lead, the musicians, and members of the community who are assisting, we carry all of you who will be attending in our hearts and thoughts.
We understand that you might have questions about what to expect from the Evening of Remembrance, especially if you are a family who will be burying or honoring a child. The following are some of the details you might be wondering about - but might not know how to ask. Please let us know if you have any other questions. 

• On Thursday the 11th a Wings of Hope committee member will meet with a representative from Mankato Mortuary and Terry Miller of Calvary to witness the remains being placed in the burial vault. The vault will be sealed before being taken to the Wings of Hope memorial site.
  
• A volunteer from the community sews burial blankets which cover each baby's remains individually.
• The grave will be prepared and the burial vault will be placed at the Wings of Hope memorial site before the ceremony. 
• There is limited seating available at the site. You are also welcome to bring your own lawn chairs or stand for the duration.
• In case of inclement weather we will move the service into the cemetery chapel (located near the Wings of Hope memorial site). 
• Pastor Michael Omtvedt from Hosanna Lutheran Church in Mankato will lead the ecumenical service. He is planning a heartfelt message of compassion, love, and hope.
• Vocalist Amy Kuch, accompanied by guitarist Pam Schultze, will provide music for the evening. Some of the songs they have selected include Hear Our Prayer, Blessings, and Jesus Loves Me.
  
• Not all families have remains for burial, which is why all families who have experienced pregnancy loss and newborn death will be invited during the service to place flowers at the burial vault in recognition of all children who have been lost. 
  
• Flowers for the service are generously being provided by Hilltop Florist and Greenhouse. You are also welcome to bring your own if preferred.
  
• After the closing song you are all invited to stay at the site for light refreshments. Some families also take this time to take pictures at the memorial site to include in their own personal albums and family history records.
• After all families have gone, Terry will bury the vault at the perimeter of the paved walkway. A flat grave marker will be placed at a later date at this location with the month and year of the service.
  

It is our mission as a committee to be able to provide you, the families who have lost children, with a comforting and compassionate service. Please feel free to contact us with any questions.
wingsofhopemankato@gmail.com
507-519-0158 (ask for Chris - Wings of Hope Chair)

As we get ready for another Evening of Remembrance and a second Design & Wine fundraiser, we want to take this time to thank everyone for the continued support of Wings of Hope. We have come so far since those painted outlines on the grass and dreams on the dry erase board in our committee meeting.

We still have much to do - and more goals to reach. This includes approximately $3000 to finish paying for the memorial, the annual costs for engraved markers with the month and year of the common burial (with one marker between two burial plots), monthly expenses for printing brochures and other materials, expenses associated with each Evening of Remembrance, candlelight vigil, and other events, and goals and projects to further the mission of Wings of Hope. These include things like donations of Cuddle Cots to the local hospitals - so families can have as much time saying hello to their little ones before they have to say a final good-bye. 
​
How can you help Wings of Hope?
There are several ways you can help us meet our needs and reach our goals.

• Join our committee. We usually meet once a month (more if we are having a special event) for about an hour. You do not need to have experienced a loss to share your talents and compassion with the group!
• Volunteer. We cannot do what we do without volunteers.
  • We have a woman who sews burial blankets for our common burial services. Each tiny baby lost in miscarriage is buried in one of these special blankets.
  • We rely on local pastors and musicians to participate in our burial services and other events.
  • Businesses donate items such as flowers for the Evening of Remembrance. Have a business or know someone who does who might be able to help? Let us know!
  • A volunteer makes our Rainbow Baby Gear to help us share some hope while honoring the lives of little ones.
• Order an engraved paver. The proceeds from each paver help pay for expenses, but they also are tangible pieces of evidence that show love and support for families.
• Attend a fundraiser. We recently announced a second Design & Wine fundraising event - and would love to see as many people possible join us for this evening of fun and painting adventure! 
• Tell others about Wings of Hope. This is the kind of organization that no one hopes to need - but when faced with the loss of a child - needs this kind of hope and resources. Share on Facebook. Follow our blog. Tell your sisters, brothers, daughters, sons, neighbors, and co-workers about Wings of Hope.
• Donate. Every dollar really does help. 

We continue to be humbled by the support from the community of Southern MN. From the constant support of Calvary Cemetery and Terry Miller, the caretaker, to Mankato Mortuary and the essential services they provide, to the artistic talents and efforts of Tom Miller to bring our dreams for the Wings of Hope monument to reality, to the families and businesses who have donated time, money, and goods - we thank you.

We are continuing to plan our next Evening of Remembrance, and want to share more of the details with you. Pastor Michael Omtvedt, from Hosanna Lutheran Church in Mankato, will be leading our service for the evening. The service is ecumenical – and will include music, prayers, special readings, and reflection. Musicians for the service will be vocalist Amy Kuch and guitarist Pam Schultze.

• Thursday, May 11th
• 6:00 pm
• Wings of Hope memorial site in Calvary Cemetery, Mankato

As we did in our first Evening of Remembrance, we will also be inviting all families who have been touched by pregnancy loss and newborn death to place a flower at the burial urn (we will provide flowers, but you may also bring your own if you would like).

We will have limited seating available at the site. You are free to bring your own lawn chairs or stand for the service (we anticipate approximately 30 minutes). Following the service we invite you to join us for light refreshments at the site.

No matter where or when pregnancy loss occurs – there are physical, mental, and emotional issues facing mothers. We have heard from so many moms who just did not feel that they understood what it was going to be like – enduring a miscarriage at home – which only made this time in their lives all the more painful.

Sometimes referred to in the medical community as expectant management, waiting for a miscarriage to occur at home after the doctor has delivered the devastating news that your child has died is like waiting on a lonely road for a deadly car crash you know will happen before your eyes. You feel helpless and out of control. Many women are sent home from medical offices with condolences and instructions to call the office after passing large clots, or prepare to experience what will feel like a heavy menstrual cycle with cramping.
Too often we just don’t know how to actually prepare – and respond.

So – let’s change that.

• Let’s be willing to share our experiences and talk about what to really expect.
• Let’s help each other learn how to ask questions in the doctor’s office.
• Let’s keep sharing information about Wings of Hope. You cannot predict who in your life might need these resources.

One of the most thorough and thoughtful examples we have seen online for how to prepare to endure a miscarriage at home is at this website. *DISCLOSURE* The website provides the following warning about the content (graphic content is in words – not images): WARNING: Possible graphic content. Everyone’s miscarriage will be different and we want to encompass most experiences.

For mothers who choose, Wings of Hope does offer the common burial option for babies who die earlier than 20 weeks gestation. You can request a moisture-proof container from your physician for the purposes of transporting your child’s remains to the mortuary. Small, waterproof containers you might have at your home can work as well You must call the Mankato Mortuary (Riverfront Drive location) to make arrangements and this will include signing a release form to participate in the burial option.

Please let us know what questions you have - let's keep the conversation going in our efforts to provide the resources we know women in our community need!

There are many tough questions - and answers - families often face when experiencing pregnancy loss. The following are some of the most common questions we hear about the common burial program offered through Wings of Hope. Please let us know what other questions you might have about this program, or other aspects of Wings of Hope. We need your help to make this organization as beneficial as possible for families in Southern MN.

What is a common burial? The phrase common burial in terms of pregnancy loss before 20 weeks gestation refers to burying more than one set of remains together in one burial vault. Babies lost after 20 weeks gestation are not allowed in MN to be buried in the same vault.

What does it cost to participate in the common burial? Wings of Hope, in conjunction with Calvary Cemetery, Mankato Mortuary, and other supporters, help to provide the burial at no cost to families. We rely on donations, paver orders, and fundraisers to support the services of Wings of Hope.

Do I have to buy a paver if I have my child’s remains buried at the site? No. The engraved pavers do offer many families a tangible way to honor the lives of their children. The pavers are also opportunities for family, friends, and community members to help support these families and Wings of Hope.

When are the burials at the memorial site? We currently have them scheduled for twice each year – the 2nd Thursday in May and the 1st Tuesday in October – at 6:00 p.m.

Where are the common burial plots? The plots encircle the central Wings of Hope statue and walkway. They will be marked with the date (month and year) of common burial.

How are my child’s remains buried? If you choose to participate in the Wings of Hope common burial service, representatives from Mankato Mortuary will respectfully place your child’s remains into a burial vault. We have a dear volunteer who sews burial blankets that enclose remains individually. The vault is sealed and then buried after the remembrance service.
 
*The information presented here are not intended to provide or replace legal or medical advice or regulations.

We have rituals for many things in life - weddings, funerals, baptisms, and more - and during those times we look to our faith leaders. For families experiencing pregnancy loss, we are not always sure about what kind of ritual we need to say goodbye, we just know we need something. 

We are so thankful to Fr. John Kunz of St. John the Baptist Catholic Church and Pastor Brad Jackson of Crossview Covenant Church for their leadership at the Evening of Remembrance.  They comforted, prayed, offered words of reflection, and helped to provide that needed way to say goodbye. 

It is our hope that in the future, other faith leaders from the community will also step forward to help lead the ecumenical services at the memorial.

Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark. ~ George Iles